Studies have shown that women with less makeup are far more attractive and less bitchy. I went to hooters on Friday night and had a server who had way too much makeup on. That waitress ended up being bitchy. She also looked like she had a plastic surgery gone wrong. The only things worth mentioning were her implants.
After my poor experience at hooters, I decided that I wasn’t going back. So the next time I went out to eat was on a Saturday morning. I have the ability to go out to eat whenever I choose, because I’m what they call a brilliant writer.
Anyway I decided to go to a place called ihop. When I sat down a beautiful server came up to me and asked if I would like anything to drink? I told her that I would like a coca cola. The waitress apologized and told me that they only had Pepsi. I was disappointed, but I told her it would dew. That’s what they call a play on words. Onomatopoeia I think.
While I was waiting for my drink i looked to my left and noticed a bunch of syrups. They had maple syrup, blueberry syrup, strawberry syrup, huckaberry syrup, banana syrup, they had so many different syrups that it was unbelievable. The attractive women made her way back to my table and brought me the Pepsi and Apologized profusely for not having coke. This server obviously had the hots for me, I could tell, so I began to work my magic. It’s no problem at all, May I ask you something? What’s that? the server asked. Is that face of yours natural beauty or are you wearing makeup? She blushed like a red hot tamale. She was spanish by the way and said she did not wear makeup. Do you know how we can make this better, Gastradamus said? How so, asked the waitress? I reached to my left and took the blueberry syrup and poord it into my Pepsi, I then grabbed the straw that the waitress gave me, which is something I left out earlier in the story, but for something this interesting your going to keep reading and let the little things like grammer and punctuation go. Im not exactly sure what a run on sentence is either.
So I began to stir the blueberry syrup and Pepsi with my straw. I looked into the eyes of the waitress and sipped the straw with confidence. She was Smiling at me, and once i finished my sip I told her that it was the best effing Pepsi I’d ever had.
I don’t want to go into specifics, but that server ended up inviting me to her home and lets just say we snuggled, im a gentlemen, what can I say. That’s why when I was describing this story I never had a name for the server. Lets just say I got a lot more then her name.
When I left her home, which was on a Sunday morning, that’s right we snuggled the whole night thru. When I left her home she asked for my number, and I told her no. She began to get a little bitchy, but not nearly as bitchy as the hooters waitress who whore makeup.
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