I’m not a stalker or anything, she just happened to work at the drive thru. McDonald’s is a great place to eat, but its rare when you have a physical attraction towards the brod who is taking your order and credit card.

“Welcome to McDonalds, May I take your order”, she asked?

Yes, I said. I’m going to have the Big Mac and a Quarter Pounder. . .

I paused for a moment so she could comprehend the beginning of my order, because I’m a kind and caring person who is full of compassion and patience, Not to mention, I didn’t want her to fuck it up.

“OK”, she said…

“I’m also going to have a small fries and a medium coke, and that will be it, I finished.

“And will that conclude your order”?, she asked.

I had just told this lady that my order was finished, but maybe she was on her period or something . I’ve heard these rumors about women having complications with hearing whenever they have a leaky caldron, you know their .

“Yes”, I said. That will be it.

” Your total is $8.67, Does everything look correct on the screen”?, she asked.

I must admit that she sounded foxy as fuck, she had a sexy voice and I like the fact that she wanted to verify if my order was correct, I like my women punctual, I thought.

“Yes, I said”. Thank you…

“Please pull forward to the first window” she said.

I drove up to the first window in my black Dodge charger and saw the women of my dreams through the reflection. She had long blond hair, fresh tan skin and great tits like Carmen Electra’s on Baywatch. So many thoughts were running through my mind about this dame, when she slid her door open.

“Welcome to McDonald’s, your total will be $8.67”, she said.

She had on a million dollar smile and her teeth were Perfecto.

“Here you go”, I said.

I handed her my card and smiled back at her. While she was processing my order I made conversation.

“So, you come here often”, I asked?

“Well, I work here”, she replied.

She shot over a moderate grin, so I guess my stupid question worked to some degree.

“Oh yeah, that’s right”, I said.

For a second there were crickets, and I couldn’t help noticing how hot she looked in her McDonald’s uniform. To pull off that look is impressive. Before I opened my mouth again she beat me to the punch.

“I like your car”, she said.

“Thanks, Doll”, I responded

She handed me my card and receipt. Our hands met for a second and it gave me tingles in my jingles.

“I like how you process things”, I said.

She laughed and it filled my heart up with joy like a Mcflurry does. To see her smile brought me happiness.

“Hope to see you back soon”, she said.

“Oh, you’ll be seeing more of me beautiful”, I finished.

She smiled and shut the door. There was a couple cars ahead of me, so hot stuff and I stayed in sight. Her window may have been shut, but I could still see her. I just stared at her smiling and she did the same thing.

I broke glance and looked at myself in the rearview mirror. I started looking at my features and noticed that my black hair was slicked back as cool as possible. I even brushed my hand back through my hair in a styling way to get her attention, and I could tell she was staring at me from the corner of my eye.
I tilted up my head to get a better glance of my nostrils and they were clear of sinus. Traffic began to move forward and I sent her a wink and went on my merry way…

1 Week Later

I’ve gone to McDonald’s A lot this past week and I believe today will be my lucky one. Let’s just say I’ve been smooth with the words on Sharon. Yep, that’s right folks, I’ve got her name and the only thing I’m missing from her are her digits.

If there was a reality show for smooth talkers, than I would be the Ken from Jepordy, because I’m fixing to score high people. I’ve been eating so much McDonald’s that I’ve got debree all over my car. I’ve got empty cups, napkins, bags, all cluttered in my vehicle because I’m an environmentalist and choose not to litter, because I care about our planet.

I’ve been coming here so often that ive got a trail of ants following the dropped fries in my back seat. Can you blame me though, McDonald’s fries are so fucking good, that it’s difficult not to drop any. When you cram 25 fries into your mouth at one time, your due to drop a few good fries. Its part of the rules of war, a sad truth, but we must go on, so I did, and drove forward to close the deal.

“Hey, Welcome to McDonald’s, Will you be getting your usual? She asked.

I had been ordering the same thing every time i came thru.

“Well, I don’t know Sharon, Will I be getting your number? I responded

The words just came pouring out. It felt right. I just did it like NIKE always suggested.

“Well, that depends, Will you tell me your name”? She asked

This looked promising, I thought. Could this be the beginning of my love story?
“The names Ronald”, I told her.

“Very funny”, she said.

I could hear someone in the background laughing through the intercom.

“It’s Ronald”, I said. “I know that’s ironic, because you work at McDonald’s and your mascot is named Ronald Mcdonald, but that shouldn’t stop our connection”, I finished.

“I would be delighted to give you my number”, Sharon said.

Fuck yeah, I thought. Mission Accomplished. Get the number and get the fuck out.

“Will you be having your usual”? Sharon asked?

“Yes”, I said.

“Ok, that will be $8.67, please pull forward to the first window”. Sharon said.

“See you there hotcakes”, I replied

I drove forward and stopped at the window. I was a little nervous but confident. There was someone next to her and it looked like they were distracted. I was anxious and ready to get this part over with. Love may be fun and all, but the beginning stages can cause major anxiety.


I don’t know what the fucks going on at this point, I’ve been waiting here longer than I… Ugh oh, it’s that feeling you get when your about to


I sneezed and looked into the rearview mirror and tilted my head up and saw snot and boogers all over my nose. My nostrils were clogged and the next moment, the sliding glass door opened. I trembled in fear and looked forward.

“Hey, Ron”, she said.

What the fuck am i going to do now, I thought. Why did the window have to open at this exact moment, . I saw a napkin off the corner of my eye to the right on my seat. I can’t let her see me like this, I thought, so I did what had to be done.

“Hold on”, I said in a snotty voice.

I took the old McDonald’s napkin and blew my nose. After the incident I apologized.

“I’m sorry about that Sharon, I had to sneeze” I said.

I handed her my credit card and she looked disgusted. She returned it to me and said

“Quit stalking me you freak”, she finished.

“Is this about the sneeze”? I asked

She slammed the door shut and I drove forward and another one gone and another one gone and another cunt bites the dust