Working at Hooters is a lot like having blue balls. Cleavage is on the loose at all times and her tease is relentless. I’ve got to give some props to the owner though. She hired a diverse set of boobies to run the peep show.

I’ve seen so many jugs walking in and out of this place that you would think I’d have my Masters Degree in BOOBOLOGY.

I’m a bald college drop out and got this job in security because I’m freakishly tall and morbidly obese. Every so often I’ll get into these scruffles, and have to throw out drunk people, but for the most part I just sit on my ass in my black sweatpants and whichever Van Halen T-shirt I feel like wearing that day and stair at boobs through the companies surveillance.

I’ve seen pale tits, tan tits, black tits, and ashy tits. Some of the Afro servers would forget to lotion up before a shift, but I was told I had to deal with it or else those people would sue.

The tatas came in all shapes and sizes. Some were big, some were flat, others were jaw dropping and gave you an urge to splat. Butt the breast package came from the owner herself named Bonnie. She had tan skin, double dees, blond hair and a similar figure to Farah Fawcet from her prime time days.

She looked so fuckin sexy in that hooters uniform. That white tank top and short as fuck orange skirt. In fact, that’s her walking into my office right now…

 

“Hey Bonnie, what’s new”? I asked…

Not much was new with her. Top of the line breast don’t just sag over night, but you’ve got to make conversation or else your vantage point of the bosoms won’t be as good.

“Well, there’s a partial eclipse going on outside, but Its hard”…

Bonnie paused for a moment when she realized what I was doing.

“Are you staring at my breast Tyler”? She asked…

“Of coarse not”, I responded.

I sure the fuck was, but I didn’t want her to know that.

“Please, continue, your words mean so much to me”, I told her…

“Its hard to see the eclipse with these 3d glasses I bought”, she continued… “They completely blind you, she finished”…

Bonnie took out the 3d glasses she was talking about and had them in her hand.

“That’s an old wise tale”, I said…”They tell you not to look directly into the eclipse, because they want to make more money selling you their merchandise.” “Those things are a scam, how much did you pay for them”? I asked….

“Oh my gard, are you serious? I paid like $20 for these things”, she expressed…

“Yeah, they’re plastic pieces of shit is what they are”, I said…

“I think your full of shit”, Bonnie replied…

“I don’t care what you think of me, I’m not the one that got ripped off”. I responded…

“Prove it than”, she said…

“Why should I, what’s in it for me”, I asked?…

“Ill show you my breast” she said…

“No bras attatched”? I asked…

“Nips and all”, she responded…

“Fine, I’ll do it, but when its all said and done, don’t be such a pussy about it”, I finished…

“Thats no way to speak to your boss”, she said…

“Blow me”, I replied…

“Let’s go before I change my mind”, Bonnie insisted…

We made our way outside the establishment. She had on the glasses and I was goggleless. I looked up at the night sky and looked directly into the moon. It was a sight to see. There was this big fucking circle just illuminating the sky and I couldn’t help thinking about an even better site that I will soon witness.

I noticed the prize still wearing her doofy glasses.

 

“Why are you still wearing those things? You look like a drunken muel from woodstock”, I said… While looking up at the moon

“Well, hotdog, she said. Maybe you were right”… I still don’t want to risk it, but a deals a deal”…

Right after she said this, I took my eyes away from the eclipse, and noticed a black bra laying down on the road. Bonnie reached from the bottom of her tank top and

OH MY GOD!!! MY FUCKING EYES!!! I shouted…

All I could see was darkness, and my eyes felt like they were on fire

AHHHH!!! HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!! I shouted some more

“Oh my gard, are you all right? Bonnie asked”… While giggling

“HELP ME!!!, I yelled… IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD”!!! I screamed…

I stopped, dropped and rolled on the ground, because the payne was so severe.

“Don’t be such a pussy about it”, Bonnie finished.

BOOBOLOGY

This one’s for you Hef