She was the cutest pooch alive and I was her fat owner. I saw her sleeping peacefully on the couch. She looked a lot like the taco bell mascot, you know a chuwawa. I didn’t want to wake her, so I laid down on the floor next to the sofa. The couch had to be a foot above from where I was laying. My stomach began to rumble and than mumble, “Quit eating so much you fat fuck”.
I heard the sound of a Jingle coming from her collar. My pups face slowly emerged from the couch. She was slow to get up, and half a sleep. Her eyes looked so cute when they first opened.
“Hey pookie”, I said
After a minute of cute gestures, my dog picked up the pace and woke up with energy. She looked like she wanted to jump, but was hesitant.
“It’s ok baby, you can jump”, I told her.
She put one paw forward and looked like she was going to take a leap. However, she did not. She stepped back to her original stance and looked at me like I was suppose to do something for her
She started to howl.
“Howwwwweeeeeel”… She said.
“Come on girl”, “its OK”. I told her
My words of encouragement were no match for this battle. Something else had to be done. My dogs patience grew thin and Her howl turned into a bark.
“Ruff”, “Ruff”… She said.
I could tell she wanted to get down, but was afraid. So I did what any fat owner in my shoes would have done for his family without actually having to get up.
I managed to stick my belly out as far as it went. My stomach was so large that I was able to pop it out like a blowfish. It was nearly on level with the couch just inches below my dogs paws.
“Come on now”, I said.
After that being said, I started making monkey noises that I can’t quite put to paper.
I slapped my hand up and down against my lard which produced a sound, similar to that of a drum which went well with the monkey sound effects I was making that I picked up from The Planet of the Apes.
She climbed down onto my belly and used it like a stool. Once she made it to the ground, another production was put out when I shart myself. My pup was wagging her tail around with excitement. She looked like she was laughing at me, the same gesture a dog makes while panting