Have you ever noticed sharpie eyes brows? They are the ones that look like someone ran a marker down their forehead just above their eyes. While some pull it off, there are those who cannot. My style was killed that day when I did the unthinkable.
And can you blame me? You grow tired of plucking and exhausted from the pain of ingrown hairs. If you went ungroomed for a week people would call you names like Frida. Now don’t get me wrong. I’d fuck the shit out of Salma Hayek even with her unibrow, but its something woman tend to look down upon.
For all the time I lost in brows, I decided it was time for a change we could believe in. If a woman can pull it off, why can’t we? I tried to pave the way for men across America. It was going to be the next big dew.
I reached for a sharpie in a drawer and than ran to the bathroom. I took off it’s cap and began to sniff at it. I liked the way it made me feel. I looked at the mirror and noticed my baldness and soon to be uni. Next I grabbed my buzzer and shaved it off in one motion because I’m a fucking artist.
It looked abnormal as fuck. I quickly drew in the eyebrows on both sides of my forehead and screamed at the top of my lungs. The neighbors grew concerned with the screaming, so they called the authorities. I was Baker acted that day. They felt like no man in there right mind would try and pull off that look.
I have NO idea how other women manage to draw in eyebrows … I generally look either wholly shocked and oh-so surprised or like an escapee from the local loony bin when I try. So much for an instant facelift by plucking and refining the brow – I look like a nutter who has been let loose with a pen. Which is actually what I am π
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im sure you pull it off just like everything else. So what have you been up to lately
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No I seriously do not …. I just can’t take my own face that seriously! What I have been up to is moving back to the US – this time as a Lawful Permanent Resident rather than a visitor. The move was both emotional and strenuous and involved much boxing and shifting and clinging to things that suddenly seemed to matter but I got here at the end of April, still have a home in France and am looking forward to having a blast in this brand new chapter of Life of Osyth π
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I have no idea how this is even a thing. Absolutely ridiculous. Madness.
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I don’t know, some pull it off Goldmember
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You brighten my day. Why can’t I write like this?????
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I’m sure you could, where can I read this book of yours
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Once it’s published I will send you an autographed copy. π
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I’ll be sure to make a purchase. Hope you’ll get my book when the day comes
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Thanks for sharing it man, hope you found it entertaining
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A couple of weekends ago, my sister and my nieces treated me to a Shania Twain concert in Cleveland, where my older niece lives. She lives 2 blocks from The Q, and is viewed by the world as drop dead gorgeous. Which, she is, but I still see her as 4!! She wears make up like nobody’s business. She can make that eyeliner SING! Her sister, on the other hand is equally as drop dead gorgeous, differently. She has beautiful long hair, wears little or no make up and will be getting her masters soon, from Virginia Tech in marine biology. ( her sister works for the cleveland browns). SO… we are on our way to the Q, due to a recent surgery I am in a wheelchair and my Browns niece is pushing me. A young man, is transvestite an allowed word (?) comes up to her and tells her “GIRL, YOUR MAKE UP IS FIERCE”!! Made that girls day!!! So maybe, your was FIERCE as well!!
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That made my day. Grapefruit juice for everyone
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