The old man next door picked an apple from Franks tree without realizing he was caught in the act.

“What is it with you”? Frank asked

“What is it with me”?, “what is it with you”. The neighbor replied. “You don’t think I notice”, “but I see what’s going on here”. The neighbor finished.

“What are you talking about”? Frank asked

*Don’t beat around the bush, Frank”. “Don’t treat me like a jerkoff”. The neighbor suggested.

“I don’t mind if you take the apples, just ask me first”. Frank pleaded.

“Yeah, I should ask for apples when I see your grandson breaking in to my backyard picking strawberries from my garden”. The neighbor said

“That was one time and he was only getting a baseball he accidently threw over for crying out loud”. Frank replied

“I see him stealing from my garden at least once a week”! The neighbor screamed.

“I’m lucky to see him once a month You crazy old bastard”. Frank finished

The neighbor took a bite of the apple and threw it at Franks face like a baseball.

“Whoops”, “looks like I accidently threw that at your face”! The neighbor shouted.

The neighbor wabbled on over to his home like he had something in his pants. Frank let out a curse of frustration before returning to his house. He was too old to fight and felt bad for his neighbor. He knew he was all alone so he let it go. Frank had a wife who thawed out a steak for him to press against his shiner. As Frank sat on his recliner he called out to his wife

“Bring me the paper”!, Frank yelled

“It’s missing”, she replied.