Have you ever used a bathroom for the disabled? I have a shit load of times and never felt bad about it. The handicapped stalls have their advantages. They tend to have more space, which is nice when you have to take a mean shit. My claustrophobia also plays a factor. So naturally, I go to the disabled toilet 90% of the time. The odds of a handicap person needing to use that restroom is slim to none, but that’s still doesn’t mean it can’t happen.
The other day I went to the movies. The movie theater was located inside a mall called the Oviedo Marketplace. This shopping center had a luxurious Regal Cinemas. They built a second story just for this movie theater, the rest of the mall took place on the bottom level.
As I took the escalator up to Regal, you know the famous movie theater
I just mentioned, I began to think about things, I was wondering if the movie I was going to watch would be any good. Before I knew it, it was time to make that awkward step off the escalator. I managed to land that step without injury and noticed the gentlemen who tears tickets for a living. He did his job well and told me to have a good day, and that my movie would be on the right side. But I had unfinished business and had to go to the left. It was concession time mother fuckers.
As I waited in line to get a Medium Coca-Cola I noticed a man with a walker coming off the escalator. This man was an older person, who seemed really happy. There was a man behind him, who was watching his every move. You could tell he was looking out for the guy.
Can I help who’s next? The cashier asked. Im sorry I got distracted for a second. Can i have medium coke please. Would you like a large coke, its only 50 cents more and you get a free refill, she insisted that it was a great value. No just a medium please. I received my coke, which was dripping, but I dealt with it. No reason to let that dampen my day. I had noticed the two gentlemen from earlier now waiting in the line as I made my way past them to go to my theater. I had noticed two bathrooms and kept walking my way when all of sudden a splash of liquid hit my face. My coke had spilled everywhere. I had a ice cube hit me in the eye and suffered with blurry Vision syndrome for a few seconds. I was pissed at this point, in fact I looked like I wet myself with the collateral damage of coca cola stain near my crotch. It was the Apocalypse of spills and I had to let someone know about it.
On my venture back to the concession, I had thrown my cup away into the trashcan next to the bathrooms that I mentioned earlier and after that I told someone about it. So I went back to the disposer of tickets, and I noticed his name this time around. Xavier was his name, and I told him what happened. He had asked if I had the cup still and I told him no. Next he asked where my cup was and I told him in the trash, his last question was, can you get it out of the trash and I told him to go fuck himself. He told me to wait just a second, so I did.
As I was waiting for my refill, the older man with the walker and the young man with him were close to the spill section. It made me a little nervous, but they managed to pass it without any issues, I could see it from a distance to where I was standing.
Here is your drink, Xavier said. I had told him thankyou and made my way to the theater. My ticket said auditorium 18. It was quite the walk, but I finally made it. I was actually meeting my mother there. When I got to theater 18 I saw my mother and noticed the older man with the walker and the guy with him sitting directly behind my momma.
About half way through the film, I heard a drop. It was the drop of a soda, I could tell. I felt the liquid enter the soles of my feet from the spill. The old man had said, Damn it, and I don’t blame him. To spill your drink sucks big time. The old man tried to clean it up himself, god bless him. I finally figured out who the guy watching over him was. Dad don’t worrie about it, ill clean it up, he said. It was his son.
Eventually the movie had ended and I made my way to the bathroom. I thought of the man with the walker when I decided to enter the handicapped bathroom. I dropped my pants and boxers down to the ground and unleashed the beast. Midway thru shit, I see these wheels from the outside of the stall and I hear the knock. I had immediately felt like shit from the inside and out. I knew I fucked up. I’LL JUST BE ONE MINUTE, I Shouted!!!. I finished my shit And wiped my ass so quick, you wouldn’t believe it. I pulled up my pants and boxers in record time. I washed my hands soaplessly devoted. I got out of the bathroom and noticed the older man getting help from his son to piss in a urinal. I had told them how sorry i was and they were surprisingly humble and said no problem. I got out as quickly as I could. My momma was in the women’s restroom so I had time to think about what I did.
As I was waiting i looked down to the lower level and noticed a business called ” Blue Jasmine” it was filled with colorful items and positive vibes, which was the furthest thing from what I was feeling