Did I ever tell you about the time I hit a black girl with a baseball bat?
It was just another boring day in middle school, everything seemed normal, but when I arrived in science class, I sat down at my desk and heard the bell ring. My teacher began to speak.
Students, pack up your things because we are going out for the day, she said. When I heard this, a comfortable euphoric warmth went up my spine. I hated being in this classroom, so the moment she said we were leaving I was as a static.
In my class its important to note that everyone was white, with the exception of one black girl. This young broad had a crush on me and I’m not a racist or anything, but I’m not to fond of dark chocolate. Everyone has different taste, some people like the flavor, but I always found it bitter.
As I packed up my things, my teacher began to speak again.
All right students, single file, line up, let’s go!!! She said loudly. Back when I was in school they made you line up before you went anywhere. They’d use this system that assigned you to your place by alphabetic order. They used it for where you sat in the classroom, to where you lined up to leave the classroom, they even use it for your graduation ceremony.
As you might have guessed, the black girl and I were close to one another, alphabetically speaking. She sits close by and when we got up to stand In line, she was behind me.
All Right class, we are going to the bus loop, my teacher said. The bus loop was not far from the classroom we just exited. The walk there was boring and became annoying. Every other student in the line seemed to walk with peace and ease, But The girl behind me kept touching my hair, which agitated the fuck out of me. Fucking bitch, I thought. Everyone else in the line was behaving, and here I was having to deal with this nincompoop.
I started to hear a noise that sounded Like a circus. To my surprise the entire buss loop was set up like a fair. They had a bunch of games, cotton candy machines, a rock climbing wall, A slip in slide. It was like a kids dream come true. If only I can get this weave out of my hair, than I’ll be golden, I thought. All Right kids, have fun, my teacher said.
I saw a yellow piñata shaped like a jackass from a distance. I love candy, I thought. This is where I need to be. There was a line when I got there and I watched these kids get blind folded by an adult and spined around multiple times, before they got a swing at it. They were using a metal baseball bat and Before I went, I watched people fail miserably. They weren’t even close to this fucking thing, how could they be so discordianated and stupid, I thought.
Just before it was my turn to go, I heard the sound of a familiar twat close by, she had some type of wabble to her walk that shakes the ground that one cannot forget. She also carries a smell of white rice for some reason. I didn’t want this to spoil anything, so I just let it be. I got blindfolded and knew if my head, that I was going to smack the fuck out of this piñata. As I was twirled, I knew I was going to hit this thing with all my might. By the time they said go and handed me the baseball bat, I was ready. I swung the bat with a powerful swing, and heard a yell. Fuck yeah, I thought. I must be impressing the fuck out of everyone with how hard I’m hitting this thing. I pulled back for another swing and landed another powerful stroke and heard a scream. The next moment my blindfold was forcefully removed and I saw the black girl of my nightmares running at me like a mad monkey. She started swinging at me with her fist, but missed because i’m quick like that. The adult who blindfolded me, got in between Queen Kong and I. The black girl started shouting obscene statements at me and once she calmed down out of her rage, she began to cry. I felt bad for her, but at the same time it ended bitter sweet. After this incident, she never hit on me again see
Gastradamus is my name and gassy topics are my game
Share the story people