Did I ever tell you about the time I hit a black girl with a baseball bat?
It was just another boring day in middle school, everything seemed normal, but when I arrived in science class, I sat down at my desk and heard the bell ring. My teacher began to speak.
Students, pack up your things because we are going out for the day, she said. When I heard this, a comfortable euphoric warmth went up my spine. I hated being in this classroom, so the moment she said we were leaving I was as a static.
In my class its important to note that everyone was white, with the exception of one black girl. This young broad had a crush on me and I’m not a racist or anything, but I’m not to fond of dark chocolate. Everyone has different taste, some people like the flavor, but I always found it bitter.
As I packed up my things, my teacher began to speak again.
All right students, single file, line up, let’s go!!! She said loudly. Back when I was in school they made you line up before you went anywhere. They’d use this system that assigned you to your place by alphabetic order. They used it for where you sat in the classroom, to where you lined up to leave the classroom, they even use it for your graduation ceremony.
As you might have guessed, the black girl and I were close to one another, alphabetically speaking. She sits close by and when we got up to stand In line, she was behind me.
All Right class, we are going to the bus loop, my teacher said. The bus loop was not far from the classroom we just exited. The walk there was boring and became annoying. Every other student in the line seemed to walk with peace and ease, But The girl behind me kept touching my hair, which agitated the fuck out of me. Fucking bitch, I thought. Everyone else in the line was behaving, and here I was having to deal with this nincompoop.
I started to hear a noise that sounded Like a circus. To my surprise the entire buss loop was set up like a fair. They had a bunch of games, cotton candy machines, a rock climbing wall, A slip in slide. It was like a kids dream come true. If only I can get this weave out of my hair, than I’ll be golden, I thought. All Right kids, have fun, my teacher said.
I saw a yellow piñata shaped like a jackass from a distance. I love candy, I thought. This is where I need to be. There was a line when I got there and I watched these kids get blind folded by an adult and spined around multiple times, before they got a swing at it. They were using a metal baseball bat and Before I went, I watched people fail miserably. They weren’t even close to this fucking thing, how could they be so discordianated and stupid, I thought.
Just before it was my turn to go, I heard the sound of a familiar twat close by, she had some type of wabble to her walk that shakes the ground that one cannot forget. She also carries a smell of white rice for some reason. I didn’t want this to spoil anything, so I just let it be. I got blindfolded and knew if my head, that I was going to smack the fuck out of this piñata. As I was twirled, I knew I was going to hit this thing with all my might. By the time they said go and handed me the baseball bat, I was ready. I swung the bat with a powerful swing, and heard a yell. Fuck yeah, I thought. I must be impressing the fuck out of everyone with how hard I’m hitting this thing. I pulled back for another swing and landed another powerful stroke and heard a scream. The next moment my blindfold was forcefully removed and I saw the black girl of my nightmares running at me like a mad monkey. She started swinging at me with her fist, but missed because i’m quick like that. The adult who blindfolded me, got in between Queen Kong and I. The black girl started shouting obscene statements at me and once she calmed down out of her rage, she began to cry. I felt bad for her, but at the same time it ended bitter sweet. After this incident, she never hit on me again see
Gastradamus is my name and gassy topics are my game
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I feel sorry for her too… but at least it ended good for you… I missed the pinata too on a birthday party of a friend. I hurt my own knee :o(((
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Youve got to be careful with those things, accidents can happen
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Oh man. You really knew how to hit. I feel sorry for her and you as well a little bit.
https://simpleserenity.wordpress.com
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What nice words from the ever so talented Azra
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Ouch! Piñata should come with warnings!
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We have heard from the model from France people. She stood me up on an email, but thats OK. We are glad to have her back
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I am just a little en retard m’sieur (I’m late in my reply) because I’m busying to return to France …. I promise I will reply and I never EVER say anything I don’t mean – it’s a rule 😘
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Do we love this hot French of a mess or what.
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Hello Gastradamus,
That was messed up, and I wonder who thought that it was a good idea to use a metal baseball bat for young kids in a situation like that.
-John Jr
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What was messed up about it john, elaborate
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Hello Gastradamus,
Some of the messed up things were: your classmate getting hit with the metal baseball bat, your classmate attacking you, the image and maybe the title for this post (which some people might find offensive), a metal baseball bat being used in this situation for kids without proper safety precautions, et cetera. 😉
-John Jr
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Johnny elaborate s well people. Was it a good read or was too offensive for you to admit that it was well written. Thanks for your thoughts buddy
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It was written well in your usual interesting style and humor Gastradamus, it was not too offensive for me to read, I was just letting you know that I assume that some of it might be too offensive for more sensitive people these days. 😉
-John Jr
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Queen Kong and I. What an incredible title, genuis I know.
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A painful but well crafted story, (painful for her but a good story for us none the less with a happy ending, for you and us)
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I’m glad you liked it
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ur talented ❤
https://emenihwl.wordpress.com/2016/11/26/how-to-look-pretty-without-makeup/
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Check out this beauties blog people , she has tips for everyone. No matter how insecure you may be about your appearance, this lady will give you tips that help boost your confidence.
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thank u alot ❤ , each of us has his own life but what concerns us is that we are friends u follow me ,u encourage me ,u give me ur opinion and ur beautiful words … this made my day really ❤ and me u do the same ❤ … love u
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Do we love emenihwl or what. Such an honor to have this super model sharing her thoughts at Gastradamus
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thank u thank u ❤
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Don’t mention it glorious
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Hi Gastradamus I felt so sorry for that young girl. If you put yourself in her shoes how would you feel?
Leslie
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Its important to realize that in this story the black girl began to throw punches after the blindfold was removed. How do you think the lead felt when he was being attacked after the girl new it was an accident. Pretty noble of the guy who was being harrased earlier in the story to dodge away from her punches and leave it at that. I hear your thoughts though Swo. Thanks for sharing
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😉
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She comes back with winks, do we love Leslie at Gastradamus or what
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❤ ❤
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I have to laugh at the concept of a metal baseball bat and the Piñata. Accidents do happen. But my feelings are a little more dark on the nature of that second swing. Great concept of the story. 🙂
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Let your feelings be shared. Don’t sugar coat what you feel about second swing, tell us at Gastradamus what you think of the second swings nature. I have seen metal bats used for Piñatas, glad to hear your thought it was a funny concept. Thankyou for your thoughts
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It would appear it was meant for Queen Kong. My dark nature tends to seek out the foreshadowing
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Its interesting to hear that that view on it, thanks for sharing. How’s work been
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I get to play in the snow! It’s fun for the first few times. Outdoors makes the best place to work.
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You write efficiently! I like how you’ve crafted the story for a great read. 🙂
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Thank you
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Good story. Poor girl. I feel sorry for her.
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Raul speaks his mind and sympathizes with Queen Kong
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You are writing very well 🙂
I don’t like any kind of violence, so I will avoid to comment there.
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Thank you for your thoughts Irene. If you tonight it was written well, then I guess thats all that matters at the end of the day. Thanks for stopping by sweetcakes. Another term for pancakes I think just to clarify
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I think that’s the scariest photo I’ve seen in a while. Some people I know would likely find this story and photo offensive and racist. I just think it’s scary. I feel sorry for the girl. She obviously had issues that were not being addressed. I wish you could have told her to stop touching you or talked to the teacher. But I know that for your age at the time, and being a boy, that might have brought more negative attention. I’m glad you didn’t hit her on purpose, and I believe that if this happened today, you would have been more proactive and assertive with respect. The story was well-written, but the violence, language, and typos tend to distract me from the story. Everyone has typos now and then, I could even have one in this comment. 🙂 Best wishes!
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And one more thing. (You did ask for my opinion) I felt offended when you called her a nincompoop. I don’t like name calling. Maybe I’m one of those “sensitive” people and I’m learning to not feel bad about being that way.
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People like Johanna are always the victim. They always blame others for their problems and get offended by free samples because the food they are trying out is raceist. The word nincompoop offends you, cry me a river. People you know would be offended by this story, bring them over. The typos distract you from the story… Your like that English teacher who punnishes their students with a bad grade for a few typos or mishaps on grammar, because they know deep down that their student is a better writer than then. They have you highlight the least relevant thing, to make them feel superior. Thank you so much Joanna for being the nincompoop that we all know you are.
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The lauguage and violence make a big part of the story. You take those things out and it would be bland as fuck. Thank you so much for your thoughts Joanna. Try to get out of that bubble
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You asked for my opinion.
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Thank you Johanna, your voice is special and I appreciate you responding for the heart, I was just doing the same thing. You are always welcome here and your thoughts are frank in what you believe and we can respect that. Take care Johanna and hope to hear back from you more often. Some blogs will edit your ability to use free speech and that’s the last thing we want to do at Gastradamus. Stay true to what you believe. Faith will come and hope is always there.
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Because I’m quick like that…fucking funny as hell
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Glad you the story funny Rob. Everyone take a look at this man… This guy is going to be the next big thing. His poetry is sensational and he’s one strong guy who needs your support. His work deserved to be looked at. Fellow bloggers, check out Robs blog because it will knock you off your blogger
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You’re too funny
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Fighting fire with fire. She stopped being batty over you rather quickly, even though you had proved how striking you were?
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Colonialist is unique . His two responses at Gastradamus have been a couple to remember
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Thank you, Gas for the invite on this read. It can be perceived as offensively imaginative and/or whimsically obscene however, it is raw, dark humor which people can find refreshing and real without personalization. No judgements offered, none taken. The comments were revealing as well. I did chuckle.
BTW there is an audience for whatever suits your fancy…or theirs.
Be safe and well.
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Thank you for your thoughts, glad you enjoyed it
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😉👍🏻🤗
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Over the years I have learnt (wrongly) to avoid all kinds of topics; people get so sensitive about so many weird things that I don’t understand and I learnt; if in doubt be silent. My conditioning was so warped that even reading about topics that may be contentious gives me a headache & makes me want to opt out. I find much of your work confronting because you barrel in where I fear to tread, but I applaud you for it.
As a piece of creative art; brilliant, well written and draws the reader in beautifully. Typos, spelling & grammar is why we re edit work, it is nitpickery. I hate making public stands but I have to say great job.
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And this is why we love Autistsix, because he’s willing to give credit where it is due. So many people have read this story, but are afraid to comment . You will be taken care of, once the blog goes viral Autistsix. Your bravery will be remembered. Will leave it at that. We’ve got bloggers on WordPress, slandering my comments to make me look like a villain. I may be a smart ass at times, but its all in good fun and let’s face it, we all knows it adds a little spice. We’ve got people reading this thing, in awe, when they know its well written, but feel the need to put it down, because writers here on WordPress, let’s face it are very politically correct. This one lady edited my responce to her blog and put in her own words to make me look bad. She has one of those blogs that dictate free speech, and I want to make it very clear, that we will not do that here. Followers of WordPress check out Autistsix at Wordprees, because he’s a good writer and more importantly, he’s a stand up guy. I stand up and applaud you for doing the right thing here
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Thank you, just for you to know I’m a woman. I just wanted you to know that because women are pressured more as the grow up to be politically correct & not ‘rock the boat’. You are very kind.
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I’m sorry, will not mistaken your gender again. Now we know, and knowing is half the Battle
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This is a sad story but it is typical behavior that some boys display to girls. The boy could have actually liked the girl but didn’t liked the way she made the move on him.
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Thank you for your thoughts
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I agree, it is sad. I also think it may express unsaid feelings of young boys, and girls about boys. They’re kids and not expected to govern themselves yet.
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Wide left, foul ball, I’m not following
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I was raised with two brothers, I am a caring person, have been a teacher and really feel this was a little over the top in meanness. Sorry, I have to agree with Johanna. I have a don who is married to a heavy set woman. People are mean and unapologetic. I have some confidence and tell people words hurt, actions hurt and try to turn the other cheek. My son is a great, handsome man who appreciates his kind, gentle wife, supports her by cooking, cleaning and taking kids to the park or pool. He even braids the girls My Little Pony. If I read this to him, I feel he would say it is okay to swear, okay to dislike the girl touching you but mentioning how the ground makes sound, smells like rice and that she looked horrible enough to look like Queen Kong. I have to say I don’t like mean comics but they have a right to do their berating and all, just won’t pay money nor visit someone’s blog who does so. My right, I suppose! 😀
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Give it up to Reo people, she speaks with profession. Good to know her son wouldnt mind some of the details in Queen Kong and I. It s the type of response you’d expect from teachers like Reo. I’m not saying she’s hiding behind her son to admit that the language and descriptions in the story are ok, but we think its a possibility. Check out Miss Scarlet and Blue Jasmine. Would love to hear your thoughts on this wonder woman
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You’re not?🙃
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I’m not what?
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Ha the photo gave me a “wow what” at first! And I feel sorry for her like the others xD
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Does this guy look like the actor from Community and Great outdoors or what. Such an honor we’ve got at Gastradamus to have one of the top 100 Cat Bloggers on our page. If you like cats then check out Marc-Andre at WordPress
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Awwww thank you. 🙂
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Good story and well written and it does grab attention but then again that is what art is supposed to do.
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Very artistic responce, we like it. Queen Kong and I continues to inspire writers around the globe. Check out JC people, if you like my material, than you will like JC
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I love the way you made use of suspense in the story. You tried pointing out the contending issues of racism that goes on in the human mind esp that of a white to a black in a soft way. I can deduce that racism can only be overcome starting from the mind. The mind is the greatest asset anyone can have. Every successful,degrading,and failing acts starts from there.
Nice one Gastradamus
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Thank you so much whitney for your kind words. You are beautiful and so are your words. Would love to hear your thoughts on Blue Jasmine and Miss Scarlet
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It’s too strong for my taste, but well written. I think a lot of people would find it offensive, though. However, I have to hand it to you; you’re style is unique.
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Do we love Kev’s honesty or what. This guy is a published author. You can check out his books at his blog. Will be buying one of them, a deals a deal. Intrigued to hear your thoughts Miss Scarlet and Blue Jasmine, you make your comments and share your honest feedback, I’ll make the purchase. When I got out of work today I saw that you commented on my work and I thought to myself, It has begun
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Your story was a good read. I guess we all have slightly hazy crazy memories of school days. I was as a static … Is this a typo or are you playing around with words…mentally at rest. Keep up the good work.
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Thank you so much for the feedback. Your thoughts on Blue Jasmine and Miss Scarlet would also be great. This story at the other two are my home run hitters. Thank you so much for joining us at Gastradamus. Typo or pun, good question
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Hey mate, I popped by, I find your writing to be pretty entertaining, interesting and captivating .The only thing with this is that it is so racist. I am sure you realise. But it’s your blog, you’re entitled to do what ever you like.
Keep up the captivating. 😀
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Thank you so much for expressing yourself in ways in which the people of WordPress can understand. Would love to hear your thoughts on Blue Jasmine and Miss Scarlet. Thank you so much for the feedback. We would love more of it
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I’m real sorry for her😥
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Thank you so much Ciryan for your thoughts. Thanks for all the likes. The people of Gastradamus like you and would like to hear more of your thoughts. Be sure to share your opinion on Miss Scarlet and Blue Jasmine. Will be visiting your material very soon. Thank you so much for being here
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I am so gonna have bad dreams from the picture….shes wicked…..liked the story….as soon as I heard it was a faire, I knew something bad was gonna happen to her….then you said piñata….well….it was an easy guess…..good story….kat
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Thank you so much Kat and thanks for your input. I’m happy that your going to see your sister soon, family is very important. Would love more of your feedback sometime
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You remind me of another blogger I follow with your style of stories. Karina Pinella, you should check her out! She’s not afraid to offend either. 😉
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That name sounds very familiar. I hope you enjoyed the story
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Nice one this is. And a good reminder about not to hold a baseball bat when you are blind folded 😀
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If only those orchestrating the event could have know that. Thanks again for the feedback, you are awesome and so are Lego’s
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You are also awesome 🙂
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This post made my whole morning. Your writing is super funny. I usually dont laugh very much so this is refreshing. I’m not sure I should be laughing at a girl getting beat with a baseball bat, but oh well.
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Uptight tells the truth, she doesn’t sugar coat things and that’s what we like so much about her. If your looking for a blog thats inspiring, refreshing and real, than go to the Uptightprettygirl Blog on WordPress. At least she willing to admit what a lot of people are afraid to do
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OMG that is hilarious! I have a similar story about when I was about 3, I pushed a kid off the slide and broke his arm because he was taking too long. I think yours may be more justified though…
If you have time, check out my latest blog post at https://tootinghustle.wordpress.com/2017/04/10/is-it-mum-or-mom/ and let me know what you think. Don’t forget to comment 🙂
Happy Blogging x
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I’m glad you found it to be humorous. I will certainly check out you story and I hope to hear more of your though TS in the future
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hmm what a surprising story
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Thanks sonderwriter, your beauty brings happiness and your words are so delicate
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haha thanks
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