I’m not a stalker or anything, she just happened to work at the drive thru. McDonald’s is a great place to eat, but its rare when you have a physical attraction towards the brod who is taking your order and credit card.
“Welcome to McDonalds, May I take your order”, she asked?
Yes, I said. I’m going to have the Big Mac and a Quarter Pounder. . .
I paused for a moment so she could comprehend the beginning of my order, because I’m a kind and caring person who is full of compassion and patience, Not to mention, I didn’t want her to fuck it up.
“OK”, she said…
“I’m also going to have a small fries and a medium coke, and that will be it, I finished.
“And will that conclude your order”?, she asked.
I had just told this lady that my order was finished, but maybe she was on her period or something . I’ve heard these rumors about women having complications with hearing whenever they have a leaky caldron, you know their .
“Yes”, I said. That will be it.
” Your total is $8.67, Does everything look correct on the screen”?, she asked.
I must admit that she sounded foxy as fuck, she had a sexy voice and I like the fact that she wanted to verify if my order was correct, I like my women punctual, I thought.
“Yes, I said”. Thank you…
“Please pull forward to the first window” she said.
I drove up to the first window in my black Dodge charger and saw the women of my dreams through the reflection. She had long blond hair, fresh tan skin and great tits like Carmen Electra’s on Baywatch. So many thoughts were running through my mind about this dame, when she slid her door open.
“Welcome to McDonald’s, your total will be $8.67”, she said.
She had on a million dollar smile and her teeth were Perfecto.
“Here you go”, I said.
I handed her my card and smiled back at her. While she was processing my order I made conversation.
“So, you come here often”, I asked?
“Well, I work here”, she replied.
She shot over a moderate grin, so I guess my stupid question worked to some degree.
“Oh yeah, that’s right”, I said.
For a second there were crickets, and I couldn’t help noticing how hot she looked in her McDonald’s uniform. To pull off that look is impressive. Before I opened my mouth again she beat me to the punch.
“I like your car”, she said.
“Thanks, Doll”, I responded
She handed me my card and receipt. Our hands met for a second and it gave me tingles in my jingles.
“I like how you process things”, I said.
She laughed and it filled my heart up with joy like a Mcflurry does. To see her smile brought me happiness.
“Hope to see you back soon”, she said.
“Oh, you’ll be seeing more of me beautiful”, I finished.
She smiled and shut the door. There was a couple cars ahead of me, so hot stuff and I stayed in sight. Her window may have been shut, but I could still see her. I just stared at her smiling and she did the same thing.
I broke glance and looked at myself in the rearview mirror. I started looking at my features and noticed that my black hair was slicked back as cool as possible. I even brushed my hand back through my hair in a styling way to get her attention, and I could tell she was staring at me from the corner of my eye.
I tilted up my head to get a better glance of my nostrils and they were clear of sinus. Traffic began to move forward and I sent her a wink and went on my merry way…
1 Week Later
I’ve gone to McDonald’s A lot this past week and I believe today will be my lucky one. Let’s just say I’ve been smooth with the words on Sharon. Yep, that’s right folks, I’ve got her name and the only thing I’m missing from her are her digits.
If there was a reality show for smooth talkers, than I would be the Ken from Jepordy, because I’m fixing to score high people. I’ve been eating so much McDonald’s that I’ve got debree all over my car. I’ve got empty cups, napkins, bags, all cluttered in my vehicle because I’m an environmentalist and choose not to litter, because I care about our planet.
I’ve been coming here so often that ive got a trail of ants following the dropped fries in my back seat. Can you blame me though, McDonald’s fries are so fucking good, that it’s difficult not to drop any. When you cram 25 fries into your mouth at one time, your due to drop a few good fries. Its part of the rules of war, a sad truth, but we must go on, so I did, and drove forward to close the deal.
“Hey, Welcome to McDonald’s, Will you be getting your usual? She asked.
I had been ordering the same thing every time i came thru.
“Well, I don’t know Sharon, Will I be getting your number? I responded
The words just came pouring out. It felt right. I just did it like NIKE always suggested.
“Well, that depends, Will you tell me your name”? She asked
This looked promising, I thought. Could this be the beginning of my love story?
“The names Ronald”, I told her.
“Very funny”, she said.
I could hear someone in the background laughing through the intercom.
“It’s Ronald”, I said. “I know that’s ironic, because you work at McDonald’s and your mascot is named Ronald Mcdonald, but that shouldn’t stop our connection”, I finished.
“I would be delighted to give you my number”, Sharon said.
Fuck yeah, I thought. Mission Accomplished. Get the number and get the fuck out.
“Will you be having your usual”? Sharon asked?
“Yes”, I said.
“Ok, that will be $8.67, please pull forward to the first window”. Sharon said.
“See you there hotcakes”, I replied
I drove forward and stopped at the window. I was a little nervous but confident. There was someone next to her and it looked like they were distracted. I was anxious and ready to get this part over with. Love may be fun and all, but the beginning stages can cause major anxiety.
30 SECONDS LATER
I don’t know what the fucks going on at this point, I’ve been waiting here longer than I… Ugh oh, it’s that feeling you get when your about to
UCHHCHUUUUUI
I sneezed and looked into the rearview mirror and tilted my head up and saw snot and boogers all over my nose. My nostrils were clogged and the next moment, the sliding glass door opened. I trembled in fear and looked forward.
“Hey, Ron”, she said.
What the fuck am i going to do now, I thought. Why did the window have to open at this exact moment, . I saw a napkin off the corner of my eye to the right on my seat. I can’t let her see me like this, I thought, so I did what had to be done.
“Hold on”, I said in a snotty voice.
I took the old McDonald’s napkin and blew my nose. After the incident I apologized.
“I’m sorry about that Sharon, I had to sneeze” I said.
I handed her my credit card and she looked disgusted. She returned it to me and said
“Quit stalking me you freak”, she finished.
“Is this about the sneeze”? I asked
She slammed the door shut and I drove forward and another one gone and another one gone and another cunt bites the dust
what a sad end of a story what started so promising….;o)
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The important thing is to keep moving forward. Always great to hear from you Easy. Your support will never be forgotten. your always the first
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Most entertaining … we’ve all been there, but some of us have been luckier. I was in the next car … 😉
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I’m glad you found it to be most entertaining. We are very happy to see you here and be sure to check out some of our other stories. Will be visiting your blog soon.
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Hahahaha..
so funny 😂…
So you saw all that snot????
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It all happened so fast. The sneeze came at the most inconvenient time. I had to blow it out in the napkin, what else could I have done
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Nothing much really
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We’ll that was… Hope you get lucky next time.
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All you can do is keep trying, hope you enjoyed the read
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Oh I definitely did.
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So close but so far away… that’s the trouble with the drive-thru line.
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Thanks so much for the feedback buddy, your words mean the world to this blog
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This is so nice. I never expected the end tho
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Shit happens, it’s best to keep your options open
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This was a great piece. You write as if we are sitting at a bar chatting over a couple of beers. The build up was great, too bad you blew it… lol. Seriously though, this was entertaining!
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Thanks you so much for the feedback. Perhaps one day we could have a beer and talk business
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Totally agreed.. very entertaining
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Thanks guys very kind of you. Eager to hear what two think of Twirpito and infant rice
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You sound rather sexy with your bald head and white shirt In twirpto…
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Am glad to have turned you on. My words can do that, what type of stuff do you write about Nita?
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Hahahaha.. lol 😂..
turned me on???
Mmmm…???
Check me out Gastradamus… my blog posts that is…
I will be awaiting your comments
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I well check it out tomorrow. What do you write romance novels or something
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Never thought it would end like that. Well, there’s always a second time, isn’t it! A great piece though 😀
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Glad you thought it was great Edwin. We would love your thoughts on some of our other stories. Hope to see more of you in the near future.
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Excellent! Definitely a punch at the end that I wasn’t expecting 🙂
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Thank you so much for your inspiring words. Feel free to share you wonder thoughts on the others
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Hi there. Thank you for visiting and following HoB. Much appreciated!
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If you like cats, than check out the Herman blog folks, thank you so much for the follow
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I loved it! Totally liked the build up and the sad end. Poor Ron!
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Thank you Habeebaty. Your blog is awesome and I recommend everybody follow it. Ron will move on and he’s happy that his sorrow has brought you happiness. Your thoughts are encouraged on the other epics here at Gastradamus. Thank you for making my day
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Thank you!!!
You are welcome, the absurd humor in it all is fascinating.
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A sad end to your story but it was entertaining!!😊
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If your lonely and need a hug, than go to Garfield Hug’s blog people. She knows how to keep things fresh and worm and who doesn’t like that.
Thank you so more for the feedback, your thoughts on the others would be incredible. Entertaining is what we’re going for at Gastradamus
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This is so sad! But people don’t go out with someone because that person sneezed? Crazy.
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Time of the month I guess. Thank you so much for the feedback. Would love your thoughts on the others pal
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Will do! Cheers!
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Well,there is always Taco Bell……
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And thats why we love this blogger folks, because the inner circle is so effin clever. If you havnt been to The Inner Circle blog, than you don’t know what your missing. Check it out or be out of the circle, it’s that simple.
Thanks for the Tack Bell suggestion, perhaps I can land a Spanish broad. Would love your thoughts on the greats
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You’ve written it so well…It was so realistic though it ended in a sad note…1 of 100 things meets success…wishing you to be the 1 for the next time…🎉🎊
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The blogging world has witnessed the words from the one and only, “love_starved_writer”. This writer is very talented and needs love people. If your a follower of Gastradamus than do me a favor and check out this Heartbreakers blog, because the writing there will give you chills.
Glad you liked the story, shit happens what are you gonna do. On to the next one, move on.
Your thoughts on the others would be excellent
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Thanks for this support ✌ feeling happy for this moment…
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Good story overall. 🙂
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The Icebreaker 694 blog is one that you don’t want to miss. If you haven’t been there, than you need to check it out.
We are happy that you liked it overall, perhaps we could bring overalls back into the fashion scene together
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😀 Overalls are nice, even though I don’t wear any, haha. It’s a good story, with a great plot twist. Also thanks for the mention.
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It s what we do . Always happy to have you hear. We’ve just posted our latest story called infant rice and we are very eager to hear what you think
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Annnnnd… this is why you don’t try to pick up girls working the drive thru window.
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The 20something existential crises needs to be heard. Her writing is rambunctious and who doesn’t want to read about that.
It can be risky, but it’s a numbers game. Eventually I’ll land a fast food greasy brod
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I like the story, the premise and the use of a common location/setting. You didn’t bog the reader down with descriptions, since most everyone knows what a car in a drive through looks like, I liked that. There is some grammar, dialogue and sentence structure that could use some work and revision. Over all, it was fun to read and I did not expect it to end that way, so well done.
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Sheryl is an author who has wrote A quality book, so she knows what she’s talking about. Sheryl was nice enough to ask me about what type of feedback I wanted and I told her to speak the truth and that’s precisely what she did and we love that. I want all the feedback I can get, no matter what you think.
Go to Sheryl’s page on WordPress and check out flawless writing at it’s best.
We’ve got others stories Sheryl that need attention to. Eating an Eskimo, Lardy Arms, rutjob, Queen Kong and I, blue Jasmine, Miss Scarlet.
And we just published our latest story called infant rice.
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Now this is a funny one.
Sharon probably heard all the pick up lines. Should have come up with something original but the name Ronald didn’t help either….. look up Ross Jeffries he teaches guys to pick up waitress and strippers. Tell him you want that drive through waitress…
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Sharon had her chance, but I will look it up for future endeavors
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Ahhh… because of a sneeze? Come on, Sharon girl… As foxy as she sounded, I think you were in for a real disappointment there… saved by the sneeze’s what I think 🙂
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What a great way to look at it. Her loss
Moody Mopet is the next big thing and you can find her immaculate writing on her blog. Check it out people, because this ladies blog will bring you bliss
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How cool that you end up each comment with a super kind compliment for my blog. I appreciate this :-))
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Reblogged this on Moody Moppet and commented:
HEY YOU GUYS! Are you in for a great laugh? Was just introduced to Gastradamus, the blogger who reinvented the concept of Hilarious! This guy’s absolutely brilliant and if you’re up for a great laugh, he’s your dude.
Thanks for making my morning, Gassy!
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Hola ! Thanks for following back. You’re writing so well. Happy blogging 😊
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You’ve done such a good job with the formatting of your stories and the other “details” I suggested you watch for in your posts. It makes a big difference! The only thing I would suggest is using profanity with discretion — I’m not offended by it, but it has more impact when it’s used less. However, if that’s the way you talk, that’s the way you talk,
Your writing has really improved. I’m proud of you!!
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Belinda O was one of our first followers at Gastradamus. I remember when I first started writing, it was rare for anyone to give me a chance, but this lady was nice enough to give me true feedback and has helped my writing become what it is today. Because of good people like Belinda O, it makes waking up in the morning a lot brighter. Thank you so much for your kind words. I will take any and all advice from you. The blog is booming, you will be taken care of Belinda O, it’s just a matter of time.
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I really thought you had her. In all honesty I work as a barista and I get so many guys who do this to me too, and after a while it is a total hassle. I stopped being on register so men would stop trying to pick me up. The girl in your post, was so rude about it, she could have been nice and said no straight up, instead of leading you to believe you would be getting her number.
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Yes I agree, don’t understand why she had to be so uptight. So what would l guy have to do at the cash register in order for you to accept his offer. Out of all the gents hitting on you, their had to be some you didn’t mind. Thank you so much for the feedback. Would love your dazzeling thoughts on the others.
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Honestly it would take a lot for me to notice a guy. But the ones I do notice tend to be really nice. They will pay for the guy behind them just because. And thats what gets ms interested. When they come back I remember the good they did, and I am way more likely to be nice, and if I didnt have a bf I would sure give them my number! Everyone has a type, you just have to figure out what that type is!
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And its why we love uptightprettygirl, because of all the credible advice she gives. Check out her website bloggers, because she is some kind of special. Your feedback on the others would magnificent and I will certainly be visiting your and giving you my feedback, because I like your writing and I like returning the favor
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Thank you! I will check out some more of your posts! You’re writing is funny and amazing!!
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Thank you for your follow
See you on the other side of creativity
As Sheldon Always
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Interesting POV – I’m learning a lot. Thanks for the follow!Stop by anytime.
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Thanks so much for stopping by
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Quite the experience you’ve written about. And thanks for following what we write in Oh, the Places We See. Best wishes for always safe travels and finding more and more interesting things to write about.
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Hahahaha .. oooh my goodness…,
What a bitch she turned out to be..
She seems so sweet..,
But you should have known that no one sweet works for McDonald’s..
So sorry 😐.. but you were spared..the ordeal of a dumb blonde..
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Thats a good way to look at it. She’ll probably get fat from fries one day or at least that’s the hope. Would love your feedback on the others. Thank you so much for the feedback and welcome to the Gastradamus club
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Welcome to that little voice and thank you for following my blog.
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Itz a pleasure to meet you and I hope you like the material
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I hate when that happens. Very tightly written.
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You should read the sequel, ” A few more good fries’… Some would say the writing is even tighter in the follow up
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Lol… good luck next time. Thanks for the follow 😊
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Theres a sequel to this called a few more good fries that you may enjoy. Thanks for for the encouragement
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Omg! I was NOT expecting that ending! lol This is quite the story 😛
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Thank you so much Karen for your words.
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You’re welcome! 🙂
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