Phonestruck: An individuals dependence on a phone to feel normal or to have your phone blow up.
I looked up everyway imaginable to keep my phone alive. The battery was on its way out, but I wasn’t ready to pull the plug. I looked up a couple operations to keep my deteriorating phone from kicking the bucket. Some may go as far to say that some of my methods were unethical… Like this tip I read that said using a brush of some sort could help clear your phone from dirt by slightly brushing it through the phones outlet.
I was able to look this up with the little life my phone had left. It was the only way I could browse the internet, because my sister didn’t believe in having it at her home. She was a hippie and paranoid about the internet taking over her spiritual destiny and when I moved in, it was quite an adjustment.
Instead of spending her time online or on the phone, which she also didn’t believe in, she insisted on spending time in her room with dreamcatchers, minature buddas, candles, lava lamps, incense and the ever so obvious activity that liberals from Colorado partake in.
She also had an obsession with eagles. She had them all over her room. Whether it was posters, the rug on the floor with a huge bald eagle in its center that one would see on the side of the road being sold by an eskimo. Or it could be the collage of eagle feathers stapled along the side of her walls.
A week earlier She had told me she was a bald eagle in a past life…
A WEEK EARLIER…
“Knock Knock”
I knocked on my sisters door
“Just a second”, my sister said.
It was more like a few minutes, I think she was trying to clear the rocky mountain air with her incense.
She opened the door
“What’s up”?, she asked.
“You really need a cell phone, that way I can get a hold of you “. I said…
“Are you kidding me?”, “I’m not going to get phonestruck”. She replied
” Phonestruck”, “What’s that”?, I asked…
“Phonestruck is An individuals dependence on a phone to feel normal or to have your phone blow up”, she said…
“So it has two meanings than”? I said…
“Well they go hand in hand. What did you need”? She asked
“I saw this really cool wig at the mall and thought of you” I replied…
My sister was balding
“Fuck you”, she replied…
“But seriously sis, what if something serious happens and we need to get in touch”? I asked
“My spirit guides will be there”, she replied…
“Oh yeah, what guides are those”? I asked…
“You know I was a bald eagle in my past life right”? She said
“Get the fuck outta here”, I said…
“It’s true, before I entered the womb of this life, I was told that my family would always be protected by my flock of bald ancestors”, she said…
“Lay off the Denver sis”, I replied…
“It’s worth the cost of my hair in this life to have them around me and those that I love”, she said…
She honestly believed the words coming out of her mouth. My sister had a good heart but had her issues. She was overweight, with black hair that had some length to it but was beginning to thin.
Wardrobe wise you could say she had style. She also had a great smile and her teeth were fantastic.
It’s why I moved in. I was worried about her well being. Our parents had been gone for some time now and she just seemed like she needed help. I feel kind of bad for poking fun at her hair, but the truth is that she needs a phone because she’s fucking bonkers.
“Have you given any more thought to the internet”? I asked
“No, I don’t want it to effect my spiritual destiny”, she said…
“Is it the money”, I asked?
“It has nothing to do with it”, she replied…
“Anything new going on”? I asked
“Well, I’m thinking about getting a tattoo”, she said…
PRESENT TIME…
The only utensil I found was my sisters toothbrush in my bathroom. I looked in the mirror and saw my reflection. My black hair was a mess. All I had on was a wife beater and black boxer briefs. I was desperate though, I needed to get this phone of mine to charge or else I was SOL. I took her toothbrush and slid it against my phones outlet from where you plug in the charger and removed some of the dirt. I could see a brown spot on the brush so I knew it was working
“Knock, Knock”
I put the brush back in its place
“Just a second” I said
I opened the door and saw my sister…
“Hey, I’m going to go out for a little, but I need to brush my teeth”, she said…
“Have at it, I’m going to bed”, I said…
I got out of there as quick as I could and went into my plain room. I hopped onto my bed and tried to plug in my phone, but there was still no charge…
“Knock, Knock”
“What do you want”? I shouted
“Did you do something to my toothbrush”? She asked
“I don’t know what your talking about”, I said…
“OK, have a good night”, she shouted through the door….
After the toothbrush fail, I remembered the other procedure I had read that said to wiggle around the chord until you find a charge, which I did. My phone had next to no life in it at this point, but there seemed to be a semi charge going. It kept going in and out, but it was better than nothing so I kept it plugged in with the hope of waking up to it fully charged. I sleep with a light on by the way and I think it’s about that time…
“Get off”, I said…
I felt like something was biting me
“Shoo” I said
I continued to feel something flying around me and woke up to a mini bald eagle flying around my face.
“What the fuck”, I shouted!!!
The eagle started pecking at my face…
“AHHHH”!!! I shouted
I shood it off without trying to hurt it because those things can’t be touched, but it continued to peck at me…
The next moment I woke up again. It turned out that the whole eagle bit was a dream, but it felt so real that I was confused, but I didn’t have much time to react to it, because something else was happening.
I smelled something burning and I reached for my phone and it was hot as hell…
“FUCK!!!”, I shouted with pain.
I had burned my hand from how hot my phone was and saw a little bit of smoke coming from it. I unplugged it and saw that my chord was chard up and than I heard a
“Knock, Knock”
My sister walked in…
“Is something burning”? She asked..
“No everything’s fine”, what did you go out for”?… I asked
“I got a new tattoo” she said
“Oh yeah, of what?”, I asked
She lifted up her sleeve and revealed a tattoo on her shoulder of a small bald eagle
PHONESTRUCK
It’s a very interesting piece! I guess we are all far too dependent on technology these days.
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Lucy is a published author and she was nice enough to leave some feedback. Check out her book, because she is one witty writer. Glad you found it interesting
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Aw, thank you! I really liked your previous posts about the fries, too. Keep up the good work, my friend!
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Thank you, that’s a follow up
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I think this is your best piece of writing to date. Lots of threads that seem to be going their own sweet way but eventually tied off neatly with your dramatic finish. I feel I know your balding sister now – perhaps she’s MY spirit guide? Do we think?
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That’s my girl. I’m so happy you liked it. What’s been rocking your world lately, besides me sweetcakes
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Too little … I need stimulating 😉
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Where do I sign up you French steam boat of a gal
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To be discovered, mon beau – otherwise it would just be boring 😉
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I like how you write a short story.
I don’t really attached to phone. If they are gone, I am fine. I think people attached too much to phone when 90% of their social life need a phone.
Phone should be a tools for a convenient life. It shouldn’t be something that takes over our life.
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Maggie may have a simple life, but the kind of dedication she puts into her blog is not so easy. It’s why she has 1000 + followers, because she’s dedicated and determined . If your having issues with you skin, than visit her blog for some great tips. I’m glad you like the way I write and I’m glad your not phonestruck like the rest of us
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Thanks!
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Enjoyed that read very much! Thanks 🙂
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Thanks, hope to see more of you here in the future. Hope the toy collection is building
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Yes be around. The ads are growing well thanks. Keep on the good work.
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Many thanks for the follow on Writer in the Woods! I only use a phone for emergencies, which so far has happened once in the last twelve years! It costs me €2.00 a month so I can’t complain 🙂
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Jude a woman with a woplan
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Definitely!
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I loved it. A delightfully hilarious piece… Depending too much on technology and relatives who prefer alternative lifestyles can have strange effects… I really liked the plot. Great short story 🙂
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It never gets old, hearing things like loved it or great. Marts has been blogging for some time with over 650 followers and over 80,000 views. Pretty ducking amazing if you ask me. Marts continues to share memorable quotes, current events and history, which is the winning formula people . Get over there and visit Marts blog before fame hits over there and maybe you’ll have a chance to make connections
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Great story … moves well and is typical of the best of your work. I like it very much. Well done.
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Thanks Roger for the feedback. This man has helped me so much and has been there for me every step of the way. He has a pretty moving poem at his website called, ” Catch Up” . Roger has quite the resume, he’s wrote books, belongs to top of the line writing groups and has even wrote scripts for cinema. I’ve been trying for the longest time to partner up with this guy, but one can continue to hope. Did I mention he was a teacher is well, the list goes on and on people, if you want to learn more about him, than click his icon and the connection will begin.
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We are partnered up … I’ll be there for you … as always … and thanks for your commitment! You have so much talent. Don’t get off the bus!
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I love it. Just for clarification what age are you and the bald eagle. Tell me to get stuffed if you want. I keep a mobile because its convenient.
I am not on Twitter and Facebook.
My visits to the doctor’s surgery are a nightmare with everyone staring at their plastic brains and not communicating with those around them.
But I love the post and wish you and your sister all the best.
Rod (derwombat)
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Thank you Rod for the feedback. This guy is a great photographer. Flawless shots is the standard for this guy. If you like photography, than visit Rods blog now people. Age wise, there not baby boomers
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Dear Gastradamus,
I think I am more of a Curator of good photography and don’t take the shots my friend,
But by all means your followers are welcome to call by.
Now the fun part I will be 70 years old next month and yes I am a fair dinkum baby boomer, in other words “an old bastard” (an expression of endearment here in Oz). Too true mate.
You’re a good bloke Gastro!
Rod
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This one is a keeper. I love it when higher powers make themselves noticed.
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Strange how things happen some times. Thanks for stopping by JC
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Hi! Thanks a lot for joining Thoughts of SheryL!
Great blog! 🙂
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Reblogged this on The Militant Negro™.
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Thanks man, what did you think of it?
Mr. Militant Negro is a blog full of wonder and swag. Earlier I was able to read one of his post and it was ever so brilliant. It’s called REST, check it out friends because it’s quite original and new ideas is what we need to help keep the blogging world stimulate. Thank you so much for stopping by…
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I liked it, your sister, in the piece, is brilliant.
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Thank you so much man
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This was interesting. 🙂
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Will take it. Check out abirami folks. The poetry there is insane and so is the traffic, lot of people over there. This blogger may be the next Dr. Suess for all we know
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Haha 😀 I don’t know about that!
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This poet puts up a post and gets over 100 likes and next to 30 comments within minutes. Pretty ducking impressive. Would love more of your feedback papa, quack quack
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Those likes were accumulated over a long period of time. 🙂 the posts were reposted. And sure I will check out some more posts later!
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The poet is being modest, how humble can one be. If you won’t pay yourself on the back, than me and my followers will do it for you
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🙂 thank you! I am honoured.
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I will be starting a web series from next week. I hope you enjoy that! 🙂 I will try my best to make sure it’s not an utter bore 😀
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A web series? More details on that please
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http://theobsessivewriter.com/2017/08/16/im-starting-a-web-series-feedback/
Please check that out! 🙂
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too funny. I have a sister like that. I call her a “weekend hippy” tho. she’s a total whack job. good post.
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Thank you so much Jim. At least the whack sisters bald eagle came through.
Check out Jim’s blog people. His last post had to do with farming, so if you like crops than check out Jim’s blog
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Great use of dialogue and an interesting story arc.
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It’s so nice to hear this from an author like Cynthia. Any author will tell you it’s all about the story and the dialogue, which iS something I try to perfect.
Cynthia Reyes is a writer who knows everything there is to know about writing stories. Check out her blog for tips on how to write flawlessly
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Okay so the beginning paragraph I hadn’t remembered but it is really important to the story to set up why he needs her to get over her problem with phones.
Her room description was pretty interesting. When you go into describing the eagles in her room, since it turns out to be an important part of the story later, I would let us know how the eagles in her room effect your main character. Or somehow set the atmosphere more.
The “Knock knock,” seems a strange thing to put quotations around, cause it’s not like these are words.
The word phonestruck, and how they go hand in hand still doesn’t completely make sense to me after reading it. I get the ending his blows up, I guess because of his weird way of fixing it be due to his obsession. One thing I would do is a little more to imply that he has an unhealthy obsession, cause right now she seems like the one whose strange…or that she has some other worldly powers to mess with him. I guess the dream is one way, maybe some other very subtle foreshadowing as well? Or perhaps you could do both, so it’s not clear which.
It’s kind of weird that on top of her weird belief that she is also balding and overweight. It seems like too many issues to some degree?
Overall I liked the story and thought it was very cute. 🙂 Thanks for sharing it. I like how you stay with the story the whole time and don’t go in other directions. And the subject is pretty cute and interesting. I like the description of the girls room a lot. And the eagle connection is interesting as well.
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Thank you so much for the feedback…
I highlight the importance of the main character thinking his sister needs a phone by saying that they need to be in touch in case something happens. The main character addresses it yet again, when he states that he thinks his sister is bonkers… It is briefly stated in the beginning that his sister doesn’t believe in the phone or the internet and later is explained why he thinks she needs one and why she doesn’t think she does…
As far as the eagles go, I think I went into more than enough detail. The brother obviously thought the amount of eagles in the room was pretty weird, and thought it was even stranger when his sister said she was a bald eagle in a past life.
The story than goes into the sisters belief that the bald eagles will look after her and those that she loves, therefor she does not need a phone. She also claims her balding is in a connection to her flock of bald ancestors… To have her heavy only makes sense from the ever so obvious activities that liberals from Colorado partake in. It also adds to her character. I also addressed that she had excellent teeth and a great smile and a good heart. The whole story has enough references and foreshadowing to explain how everything pans out.
So it has two meanings than. W3ll they could go hand in hand…
Phonestruck is bad either way you look at it. You had a guy so obsessed that he was willing to clean out his phone with his sisters toothbrush w0 even washing it. I think that’s unhealthy and pretty obsessive… His phone was also on its way to blowing up if it wasn’t for his sister ancestors stepping into the dream world and waking him up or the sister walking into the room…
PHONESTRUCK is about a guy who is obsessed with his phone and concerned about his sister well being. After all that concern for his sister it turns out, that his sister wasn’t as crazy as he thought and he was the one with a bigger problem, it shows At the end of the story when his sister is the one that ends up saving him.
As far as the quotations go, I suck at grammar, just bald winging it. You got on me on that…
If you like things very detailed, than check out the rest of my work. Eaten an Eskimo is very detailed if that’s what you like… Thanks again for the feedback, just wanted to share where I was coming from when I wrote the story. Would love to hear more from you in the future.
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Oh I didn’t get that her ancestors saved him from the phone exploding. I thought they caused the phone to explode somehow to teach him a lesson. Okay I see what you’re saying, you’re flipping the story at the end to make her the normal one. I had missed that idea, cause I thought the eagles were cursing his phone somehow. So that does change things a bit.
Yes I just hope I don’t offend, but I can see you put a lot of effort in this and its pretty interesting, definitely a unique idea, so I wanted to give you any feedback I could to help you. I hope it isn’t bothersome. I appreciate honest feedback too, even if I don’t always like it. But in the end of course you know what your story is about since you are the writer.
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I love your honest feedback. I’d rather someone tell there honest opinion. Thank-you so much
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Wow…brilliant post. Totally engrossing. (I’m way too dependent on my phone).
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Not only does this blogger design with flair, but she write with flair. Checkout that incredible hair style. If only I could be half as cool as you…
Thank you so much for the kind words. I recommend everyone here on my blog to check her out, because you having seen anything until you have visited designwithflair
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Awww….thanks.
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You moved in because she had fantastic teeth? I typically floss a couple of times a day, but you can’t move in with me. Also I was a marmaset in a previous life. I was also thinner and more hoochie-esque. Alas that time has passed. Freaking loved your tale. 🦅🐒
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Well I was worried about her well being, not sure I made that clear enough in the way I worded that section. I’m so happy you loved the tale Mojo, be sure to check out my others, eaten an Eskimo is a crowd pleaser
We want to thank MoJo for the kind words. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, check her blog out and do it before she gets famous, that way you’ll have a chance to get to know the incredible MoJo
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Very readable, and very amusing. I got the eagle saving him reference – and even saw how it made his sister the normal person rather than the weirdo he saw her as. Great fun.
Thanks for stopping by my blog 😃
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Kim understands the beauty in the story and it helps that she is a beautiful woman. Check KIM out people, her blog is amusing and what else can we ask for
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Amusing post, G. I’m glad I have a sturdy cell phone. I’m always dropping it and putting it back together again. It’s very simple though and not an iPhone. I really don’t need an iPhone as I have a laptop. I recently got a big new one as my old one was like a glorified tablet with ten-year-old technology. I had to thump at the little keys to get it to move. Keep up the good work. I haven’t been writing all that long either and write mostly flash fiction for internet blogs and short stories I intend to try and get published in mags. All the best. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Thanks you, we are aiming for amusing, so I guess the writer on this one is doing his job. Glad youve managed to recover your phone in touch times.
Check out this gems blog people. Patriciaruthsuzzane is where the cool people blog at
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Thanks a lot, G. 🙂 — Suzanne
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I enjoy this one a lot!
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I’m happy you enjoyed it. How are things going with you blog?
Sarah Ferguson and choppy are quite the hoot, so be sure to check out there fantastic blog
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Everything here is going great – busy, but that’s not a bad thing!
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Looks like your sister was a bald eagle in a past life; maybe you was too……
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I put the wife beater thing in there just for you buddy. Thanks for the feedback man. It’s been a long time, how are things going at your blog?
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yeah, I saw that; wife beaters…LOL
The blog is coming along fine stop
by anytime
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I’ll be there. You going to join me before I make it to the big time or what… Stats are booming
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Your mind words in mysterious ways. We make jokes about bald eagles in my family too so this sounds kind of familiar. Only difference we’ve all succumbed to the dreaded mobile even my mum and dad! I suspect they are just fashion accessories for them, I doubt they truly know how to use them!
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Marje you are so in tune with reality and that’s why we like you so much. How are the book sales going?
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Hi, its early days at the moment. Some folks have pre-ordered which is good. I’m not expecting to make much from Book 1. This will be a slow process, new authors don’t start to make money until they have a few books under their belts. Unless you’re J K Rowling or a celebrity of Love Island, etc. I’ll need to keep the day job for now!
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Your very talented and I write well. Would you be interested in partnering up to some degree? I’ve got a lot of material and I know you do to. I’ve got a lot of loyal followers and so do you. How much is your book and how many pre-orders do you have so far
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My book is £2.99 on Amazon or free on kindle unlimited. At the moment I’m going it alone but thanks for mentioning that. Perhaps at a much later date like a few light years from now I might consider partnering to do a funny book about my experience in retail. Have you ever worked in retail?
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Way to be clever ceayr. We enjoy it when bloggers like you keep things interesting
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Gripping story, a clash of cultures now, apparently, so stark but really a story of ages , times and cultures. The only real stark contrast is it used to be generational, now its simply age related.
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It’s true… So crazy how it became a generalization.. I didn’t have one until high school and now it has become a necessity. Thank you so much for the feedback. Dermot Haze is very original. Check out his blog and icon and you’ll know what I mean
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You’re too kind but it’s nice to think someone who writes like you considers my work ‘original’.
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Would love your thoughts on the others man. Going to visit more of your blog now
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As I must visit and read more of yours
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Interesting one ☝🏾
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We try…. Check out CreativeSiba people. He is quite the photographer
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Thanks 🙏 a lot my dear
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Spammer!!!!
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We’d like to Mr nobody for coming to this blog and helping out the stats for this excellent story.
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Well, that was a grin, sardonic at times. I actually share a house with my sibs and I am the only one with a call phone. Okay, enough about me. .. Loved the ending, never expected there NOT to be a min bald eagle flying around. Oh, If you need an electric toothbrush that no one is using anymore, let me know, I can send you one. Keep writing.
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I learned what sardonic meant, I can see what your saying. Thanks for using that term, because it has now been added to my vocab… Your feedback has been incredible
Anette is a kind and caring person. Angles surround her, just like the eagles surround the characters in phonestruck. Check out her blog because it is full of faith, spirituality, and positivity.
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Gastradamus,
That was hilarious, I love it! Thanks for the follow–I in particular could use it today. I had someone tell me I couldn’t use one of her pics–that’s fine–but because she didn’t approve of my writing. Kind of strange, really. Much appreciated timing from you!
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I think this post is one of your more relatable posts. I also think I would love your sister, I like people with character, and good teeth. I could not live with out Wi-Fi, it’s pretty much my entire life, I don’t use my phone very much, but I am on the computer all day long, especially since my college classes are online!
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Many of us are Phonestruck, it’s just the way the cookie crumble. Would love your thoughts on my latest piece called peekaboo, hope you like it
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I will read it tonight! I just moved in with family so I feel like I never have enough time to read any more!
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I understand. Can’t wait
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So interesting story..enjoyed reading it
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Thank you so much for Reading
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A brilliant mix of shock-horror and humour!
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Thank miss Fleetwood Mac for those incredible words
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Hi, gastradamus, I’m sorry to hear about your parents, but glad you and your sister are together handling and working through life’s difficulties. Having a sister is a blessing, and at times ‘seem’ like a curse. Hang in there, though. It gets better (I know, I have two)…and one day, you’ll think to yourself, “I’m so glad to have her in my life.” God’s best to you both.
By the way, thank you for following my blog. ashes4him
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Thanks Ashes. This story is fiction just to let you know. Thanks for the kind words sista
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You are an exceptional writer…had me going, right! I knew it was real. Keep up the good work. Impressive!
ashes4him
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Thank you so much
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